The newly resurfaced field at River Park West was unveiled to the public Wednesday night for its first test run as the Dogs clashed with the Dirty Kitties in a battle of optimistic mediocrity.  Despite taking 2 ½ weeks to perform the work, only a quarter of the field was actually replaced, leaving many to scratch their heads and wonder how many millions were spent on 300 sq. yards of turf.  The new pitch was met with both adoration and disgust from the team.  Fashion diva and sometimes Sweeper, Ryan “am I late” Spohn admitted, “I love the new color scheme, who ever says green on green clashes is absolutely crazy and I love the splash of yellow, it really helps to define his junk….we are talking about Shank’s (keeper-alt.) uniform, right?”  The three week bye obviously affected the D-ballers as the defense took some time to get back up to speed.  The Dogs fell behind early as the Kitties’ lead striker broke away from the Dogs’ defender in the 5^th minute to challenge keeper Melotte, who met said challenge by gracefully falling on his ass, allowing the first goal.  This was closely followed by a second goal, pretty much carried out the exact same way.  Said Melotte at half-time, “What the fuck is up with this new turf shit, it’s wetter than a bitch in heat on roller skates out there, I’m slipping all over the place!”  Needless to say, Melotte is not a very suave speaker and really has trouble “turning the phrase”, he should have never been quoted.  A PK in the back of the net in the 18^th minute brought the D-ballers within one and kept spirits up into the half. The highlight of the evening was the offensive dominance that the Dogs poured on the entire second half, despite only one sub in reserve.  The mid field was expertly controlled as the Ballers attacked every 50/50 in the air and provided the support that allowed the strikers to knock off 5 shots on goal to every 1 of the Kitties (they only had 2, you do the math).  Apparently, some triumvirate deity had money on the Kitties going into the match because every possible Act of God except for maybe a plague of locusts prevented the ball from ever finding the goal.  A final surge by the Kitties left a one on one situation at the goal but was stopped by Melotte with a diving save at the 18, preventing the route.  The keeper was left winded and in much need of a drink.  Thankfully, the match ended soon after and the Dogs headed to the bar with a 0-1-1 record, dropping to 8^th place in the league.  Final:  Kitties over Dogs, 2-1

Player of the Week:   Mike Blasik for full game effort and crucial PK boot that gave the Dogs their only point in the match.
Baller Bungle of the Week:  Mike McAtee for attacking some poor guy's shins.

Next game, Wednesday, Oct. 19^th – 6:30pm v. Etown United, (6^th)

Game Notes:  For the first time in Dogs History, we have enough Dogettes that we can sub girls for guys, thanks to all the ladies for giving the effort!  T-shirts were passed out at this week’s game and have been praised by all as “not completely sucking ass”;  Mike “stiff arm” McAtee earns his first yellow card of the season and regrets nothing.